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 today i went to the mall with sydney and we had a beautiful time!!!!!!!!!!! it was so good, so so so good, good–to catch up with her. she drove herself. i am not driving yet, i feel behind. but i'm not very concerned. i've put out a new song: Rainbow Candy Lights. yay! i am very excited. at the mall, i saw a girl i knew but i didn't say hello because she did not see me. and i got three CDs, because they had a Buy-Two-Used-CDs-Get-One-Free sale, so. I got Jewel-Pieces Of You, and Dixie Chicks-Home. and for an unused CD, i got Clairo-Sling. the Jewel CD is deluxe! i didn't know until i had just bought it, so i am lucky. especially clovery today. i am looking at pens on pinterest, i feel happy to have made a new friend.

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 today i am not sure what i'll do, but i slept so much. i am feeling well rested, i think my mommy is at work. she went in early today. i create imaginary albums, and i have song titles & i can imagine the meaning behind them and the sound. like Tiger//Hunter is about the most awful nightmare that i had the other night, i was naked in a strange exotic place, running around searching for clothes, food, water, shelter. and as i was running all around the grass, the sky was changing colors, like a pinwheel. I had the feeling that you get when you know someone is perving on you but you aren't fully sure, but you can feel it. that terrible, disgusting, mortifying feeling. I wondered who was watching me, where they were. It was a tiger--a sexual predator manifested through the form of a giant, corn syrup bloodied tiger. I have always had dreams in which tigers or big cats represent danger, i suppose because they are wild and can be violent when non-trusting. anyhow, i remember running from the tiger over and over and i reached a house, i ran into the bedroom and all of the furniture was tall and high. so i climbed up on the bed and jumped from the bed, to the nightstand, to the dresser, to the desk, to the tv-stand, and back around. i kept doing this as the tiger circled the floor below, waiting for me to fall or something. I woke up and I had already been crying in my sleep, i was drenched in sweat, and the moment i realized i was awake--i burst into hysteric crying. because i was just so terrified of that nightmare. I'd like to turn that emotion, that feeling into a song. I'm not sure how yet, though. i love most animals, and i don't hate tigers at all. i am just very afraid of them, though i think they're beautiful.