Tuesday, February 3, 2026

001

 in all honesty, i remember the interaction very vividly. 

the fluttering of the butterfly, and the shimmering of

the hummingbird back home in Gary.

lately i feel that i am not belonging anywhere, not even where i am now. in my dream i saw many sparkling

pieces of cheap, carnival plastic toys buried under the mulch on my pre-school playground. i remember feeling happy in the dream. feeling like i was famous there. like the whole world knew who i am. 

i collected all of these strange little pieces of plastic and they shimmered and jumped in my hand. it felt like magic. i did not know what to make of any of it. i think that this dream stems from a video that i saw of a girl reading a story that was similar. anyway, i wandered about my pre-school for a long time. it was empty, except for a teacher or two. and it felt never-ending- the halls and the corners felt so big. i went in and out of the rooms, and found more pieces of shining, colorful plastic. it smelled like rain and mulch and the disinfectant that they used there. 

i woke up, had a swig of water and went back to sleep. in the next dream, i was on a blue and purple beach. the sun was shining like a lunar eclipse(?), dark and brooding. i remember it being dark, but light at the same time. i enjoyed that type of lighting so much. i never wanted to leave. the water was so warm, and comfortable. but if i got out, and walked along the beach for a while before going to the water again, it felt like ice on my skin, burning me for a moment before settling. it was perfect. i wondered if i had reached a state of perfection, there. i wasn't there long, in the physical world. it had only been an hour before i woke up. i saw a scary figure in my room, it was a shadow. it looked like it was a head, peeking at me over the side of my bed.with no eyes. anyhow, in the third dream of the night, i was in a void. a dark dark void. i find myself here often. you could not imagine the darkness within this void. it is so dark, that the only other person there, some strange man that i've never met, emits a darkness that appears as light.


in this dream, i walk up to the man and reach out to see if he is real, and he runs away, and i chase after him, and he runs and runs and disappears up out of view ahead, and i am trapped in this void by myself, in this darkness. so dark that my eyes hurt. i trip and fall and claw around, it is so scary.


grosgrain ribbon, carriage boots

wheat weaving, cardinal snow

nothing in particular, you offer me

a glass of orange juice, i am 

walking to the window, the window

is on fire. it burns and burns.

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