002

 the hummingbird & the butterfly is something that brings me hope. two things that make me particularly happy, interacting because they are both so tiny and happy and lovely, together. despite all odds, they find each other over again. even when the hummingbird and butterfly go separate ways, they meet at the center again. it is a good thing. to me, it symbolizes hope......and life............. despite hope separating from life at times, life & hope are in love with each other and find each other again. it is the same forever. a large spinning wheel, which lately the word wheel reminds me of the lyric from pulldrone (ethel cain) "the stars are as beams shining through the wheel" i just love that. i've got no clue what it means. but it's a beautiful sentence. i say it to myself often. pulldrone can be recited like affirmations if you really want. today it rained a lot, and i did not do hardly any school work. which is Not good. but i am feeling........and telling........myself that it will get done sooner or later. i pray for sooner. i have been praying like a lunatic lately. it is bizarre because i've thrown myself from religion a decent while ago, but Jesus is not as horrifying as God itself. and i don't know anything about God. who does, though? does anybody know anything about God? i think it is there, but in a different way. sotce said in a youtube video that God is like the server hosting the website. that makes perfect sense, to me. God is.........unexplainable. i too, want to be unexplainable. but in a very different way. because for me, i would like to Stop explaining myself. whereas God has always been unknown to us, and i think that it always will be. i think it works best that way. Jesus is closer to....my comprehension. and so lately, when i think to, i pray to Jesus. for happiness. for peace. for guidance to do the right things. i am happy to be here, on this simple website. no interruptions or struggles. just a space. in my head, nobody will see this. and so it is a void, and i can say anything. that isn't true. that will come around and stab me later. but for now, i am choosing to believe it. if you hear me, or see me, ignore me. please. i am having so much fun here, really. you've no idea.